Things I Hate – Part 1

I hate dogs wearing coats. Correction, I hate the people who put them in coats because you know why coats exist? To keep us warm. And for decades coats were made of fur and dogs already have fur. Some old women even wear fur to this day! It’s even worse if the person is putting antlers on the dog or dressing it up as baby Jesus or something. The only animals that should get coats are hairless Chihuahuas. It’s indecent.

I hate people who walk in groups of three side by side. Guess what? One of you is the asshole who should be walking behind. If the other two people are too scared to tell you then you need to figure it out on your own. You don’t belong, asshole. Sidewalks go both ways. There’s no room for three people walking like you’re in the Wizard of Oz. And no coat for Toto.

Finally, in this holiday season, I hate Greenpeace. Do you ever do anything besides pretend you’re saving whales? If you actually cared about saving whales you’d go to Japan and murder a fisherman. No, all you care about is stopping me on the street and getting my credit card number so that you can go blow an endangered tiger with your commission. Fuck Greenpeace.

Advertisements

Welcome

All I want to do here is give you a little insight into everything that’s gotten me to this point. So a special thanks goes out to John Jameson and Chichi, the guy who sold sausages outside of my college dorm at 2 AM. I don’t think that’s how his name is spelled. I’m sorry to dishonor you, Chichi.

But really this website is so you can find my published works, photographs from around the world, my film blog on Atticus books, freelance, and my personal blog all in one place Thanks for visiting. Enjoy!