Things I Hate – Part 1

I hate dogs wearing coats. Correction, I hate the people who put them in coats because you know why coats exist? To keep us warm. And for decades coats were made of fur and dogs already have fur. Some old women even wear fur to this day! It’s even worse if the person is putting antlers on the dog or dressing it up as baby Jesus or something. The only animals that should get coats are hairless Chihuahuas. It’s indecent.

I hate people who walk in groups of three side by side. Guess what? One of you is the asshole who should be walking behind. If the other two people are too scared to tell you then you need to figure it out on your own. You don’t belong, asshole. Sidewalks go both ways. There’s no room for three people walking like you’re in the Wizard of Oz. And no coat for Toto.

Finally, in this holiday season, I hate Greenpeace. Do you ever do anything besides pretend you’re saving whales? If you actually cared about saving whales you’d go to Japan and murder a fisherman. No, all you care about is stopping me on the street and getting my credit card number so that you can go blow an endangered tiger with your commission. Fuck Greenpeace.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s